August 6, 2023No Comments

Unleash Your Voice with FierceFolks Self-Advocacy Coaching

đŸ”„ Are you tired of navigating life's challenges alone? Fed up with the bullshit society throws your way, making it difficult to take up the space you rightfully deserve? It's time to rise above these barriers and unleash your fierce potential with FierceFolks Self-Advocacy Coaching! đŸ’Ș

Self-advocacy isn't just a buzzword; it's a vital skill that empowers you to take full responsibility for expressing your needs and desires. Whether in your personal or professional life, self-advocacy enables you to communicate your needs with unapologetic confidence and command the respect you deserve!

đŸ’„ The FierceFolks Edge:

  • Embrace Your Authentic Self: I believe in breaking away from societal norms that stifle your brilliance. FierceFolks Self-Advocacy coaching is a sanctuary for anyone who feels unheard and unseen in a world that often elevates the voices of the privileged. Let's reclaim your voice together!
  • No Woo-Woo, Just Real Results: Forget the "manifesting" hype; I'm all about honest conversations and diving deep into the core of what's holding you back. I'll show you how to confront societal challenges head-on and create space for positive change.
  • Embrace Diversity: I welcome everyone from all walks of life. FierceFolks Self-Advocacy Coaching is a safe space for everyone seeking to stand up, speak out, and live authentically. Together, we'll challenge the status quo and empower each other to thrive!

🔍 Unpacking Self-Advocacy:

Self-advocacy goes beyond just speaking up; it's about understanding your worth, articulating your needs, and setting boundaries fearlessly. Our coaching sessions will help you identify internal and external barriers holding you back.

🚧 Internal Blocks:

  • Crush Self-Doubt: We'll find ways to boost your confidence and belief in your abilities, reminding you that you are worthy of being heard and supported.
  • Conquer Confrontation: Fear no more! I'll equip you with assertive communication skills to tackle challenging conversations head-on.
  • Communication Mastery: Learn how to express yourself clearly and effectively, ensuring your needs are understood without self-pity or incompetency.

🚧 External Factors:

  • Defying Social Norms: Let's dismantle societal expectations and redefine your narrative. You don't have to conform; you deserve to be your true self.
  • Battling Toxic Workplaces: We'll empower you to thrive in toxic environments, helping you navigate power dynamics and emerge stronger than ever.
  • Pleasing your network: We'll assess who in your support network is genuinely supporting you and who may be causing you to hide.

💡 Unleash Your Fierce Voice:

  • Know Your Worth: Discover your unique strengths and contributions. Believe that you are worthy of acknowledgement, support, and achieving your goals.
  • Embrace Discomfort: Growth comes from embracing discomfort. We'll help you stay composed during challenging moments, enabling you to advocate for yourself gracefully.
  • The Right Time to Speak: Learn situational awareness to gauge when to effectively voice your needs and desires.
  • Set Unbreakable Boundaries: Identify when someone crosses a line and confidently communicate your experience while suggesting solutions.

đŸ’Œ Digital Coaching for Empowered Growth:

Our digital coaching sessions will be tailored to elevate your self-advocacy skills. Benefit from expert guidance, support and communication techniques from the comfort of your chosen space. đŸ“Č

👉 How to Find Your Perfect Digital Coach: (hint - it might NOT be me, and that's OK)

  • Define Your Goals: Know what you're looking to achieve through coaching.
  • Research Specialised Coaches: Find experts in communication skills who resonate with your vision.
  • Free Consultations: Take advantage of consultations to find the best fit for you.
  • Credentials and Testimonials: Request proof of credentials and hear success stories from past clients.

Ready to ignite your self-advocacy journey and become a powerful communicator? Unleash your voice and champion your needs with FierceFolks! Book in your FREE Chemistry call now đŸ”„đŸ’Ș

Rewrite Your Narrative, Embrace Your Fierce, and Break Free from the Barriers That Hold You Back! 🌈

#SelfAdvocacyRevolution #EmbraceYourFierce #BreakFreeFromBarriers

February 26, 2023No Comments

Overcoming Impostor Syndrome: Building Confidence in Your Skills and Abilities

Learn how to overcome impostor syndrome and build confidence in your skills and abilities with these practical tips and strategies.

Do you ever feel like a fraud or worry that you don't deserve your accomplishments? If so, you may be experiencing impostor syndrome. Impostor syndrome is a common phenomenon where individuals doubt their abilities and accomplishments, even in the face of evidence to the contrary. It can cause anxiety, inadequacy, and self-doubt and hold you back from reaching your full potential. In this blog post, we will explore the concept of impostor syndrome, its impact on individuals, and practical strategies to overcome it and build confidence in your skills and abilities.

Understanding Impostor Syndrome:

Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern in which individuals doubt their skills, accomplishments, and abilities and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. It is commonly experienced by high achievers and individuals who are successful in their fields. However, it can affect anyone, regardless of their background or level of success. The symptoms of impostor syndrome can include feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, and inadequacy, and can lead to individuals undermining their accomplishments and avoiding new challenges.

Overcoming Impostor Syndrome:

The good news is that impostor syndrome can be overcome with the right strategies and mindset if you give it some time. Here are some practical tips to help you build confidence in your skills and abilities:

  1. Recognize your achievements: Make a list of your accomplishments, skills, and experiences. Reflect on the challenges you have overcome and the successes you have had. This will help you recognize that you have earned your place and deserve to be where you are.
  2. Talk to someone: Talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or coach about your feelings of self-doubt. Sharing your thoughts and feelings can help you gain perspective and see that you are not alone in experiencing impostor syndrome.
  3. Reframe negative self-talk: Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations. Instead of saying, "I'm not good enough," say, "I am capable and talented." List out all the things you CAN do.
  4. Embrace your weaknesses: No one is perfect, and it's okay to have weaknesses. Embrace them as opportunities for growth and learning.
  5. Take action: Take small steps towards your goals, even if they feel scary or uncertain. This will help you build confidence and prove to yourself that you are capable.

By implementing these strategies and adopting a growth mindset, you can begin to overcome impostor syndrome and build confidence in your skills and abilities. Remember that overcoming impostor syndrome is a journey, and it takes time and practice. But with persistence and a positive attitude, you can reach your full potential and achieve your goals.

If you are finding it hard, why not reach out and book your FREE chemistry call now - no obligations, I swear!

I am an ICF Accredited Coach. The International Coaching Federation (ICF) is a non-profit organization that sets the standards for the coaching profession worldwide. To become accredited by the ICF, a coach must complete an ICF-approved coach training program, accumulate a certain number of coaching hours, and pass a coach knowledge assessment. The ICF accreditation process is rigorous and is designed to ensure that coaches meet the highest standards of coaching competency and ethics.

ICF accreditation is widely recognised as the gold standard for coaching professionals. It signifies that a coach has met the ICF's rigorous standards and has demonstrated a commitment to ongoing professional development and excellence in coaching. ICF-accredited coaches are considered to be among the most skilled and effective coaches in the industry, and many clients and organizations seek out ICF-accredited coaches for their coaching needs.

February 26, 2023No Comments

Exploring Your Identity: Understanding Who You Are and What You Stand For

Understanding your identity is essential to living a fulfilling life. Learn how to explore your identity and discover what you stand for with these helpful tips.

Identity is an integral part of who we are as individuals. It shapes our beliefs, values, and actions, and helps us understand our place in the world. However, exploring one's identity can be a daunting task. It requires self-reflection and a willingness to confront difficult questions. In this blog post, we will explore the importance of understanding one's identity and provide tips on how to embark on this journey of self-discovery.

Understanding your identity is crucial because it helps you to develop a sense of purpose and direction in life. When you have a clear understanding of your values, beliefs, interests, and passions, you are better equipped to make informed decisions about your personal and professional lives. Understanding your identity can also lead to increased self-awareness and self-confidence, which can have a positive impact on mental health and well-being. Additionally, understanding your identity can improve communication and relationships with others, as you are better able to articulate your needs and boundaries. Overall, exploring your identity is an important journey that can lead to personal growth, fulfilment, and a sense of belonging.

How to discover more about yourself:

  1. Acknowledge your unique experiences: Your lived experiences, good and bad, have shaped you into the person you are today. Recognising and acknowledging these experiences can help you understand your values, beliefs, and perspective on life - and, importantly, how your experiences may differ from others around you.
  2. Challenge your assumptions: We all have assumptions about ourselves and the world around us. By challenging these assumptions, you can gain new perspectives and insights into who you are and what you stand for.
  3. Reflect on your values: What values are important to you? What do you stand for? Take some time to reflect on these questions and explore how your values guide your decisions and actions. You could try answering these questions during meditation or journaling.
  4. Explore your passions: Your passions can also offer insight into who you are and what you stand for. Take some time to explore your hobbies and interests and see how they align with your values and beliefs. What brings you joy? What makes you feel energised?
  5. Embrace your strengths and weaknesses: Understanding your strengths and weaknesses can help you build a more accurate and authentic sense of self. Embrace your strengths and work on improving your weaknesses to become the best version of yourself.
  6. Seek feedback: Asking for feedback from others can provide valuable insights into how you are perceived and can help you identify blind spots in your self-awareness.
  7. Practice self-compassion: Exploring your identity can be challenging and may bring up difficult emotions. Be kind and compassionate to yourself throughout this process.
  8. Be open to change: As you explore your identity, you may discover new aspects of yourself or realise that your values and beliefs have evolved. Embrace these changes and be open to growth and transformation.
  9. Connect with others: Building connections with others who share similar values and beliefs can help you feel more grounded in your identity and provide a sense of community. Are there social or support groups you could join to meet other like-minded people?
  10. Celebrate your uniqueness: Finally, remember that your identity is unique to you. Embrace your individuality and celebrate the things that make you who you are.

In conclusion, exploring your identity is a crucial step towards living a fulfilling life. It requires self-reflection, an open mind, and a willingness to embrace change. By following these tips, you can embark on a journey of self-discovery and gain a deeper understanding of who you are and what you stand for.

If you are finding it hard, why not reach out and book in for your FREE chemistry call now - no obligations I swear!

I am an ICF Accredited Coach. The International Coaching Federation (ICF) is a non-profit organization that sets the standards for the coaching profession worldwide. To become accredited by the ICF, a coach must complete an ICF-approved coach training program, accumulate a certain number of coaching hours, and pass a coach knowledge assessment. The ICF accreditation process is rigorous and is designed to ensure that coaches meet the highest standards of coaching competency and ethics.

ICF accreditation is widely recognised as the gold standard for coaching professionals. It signifies that a coach has met the ICF's rigorous standards and has demonstrated a commitment to ongoing professional development and excellence in coaching. ICF-accredited coaches are considered to be among the most skilled and effective coaches in the industry, and many clients and organizations seek out ICF-accredited coaches for their coaching needs.

February 26, 2023No Comments

How to Overcome Productivity Guilt and Achieve a Healthier Work-Life Balance

Productivity guilt is a common issue that affects many people in today's fast-paced society. It's a feeling of shame, self-doubt, and anxiety that arises when we perceive that we are not being productive enough or achieving our goals as quickly or efficiently as we should. However, constantly pushing ourselves to do more can lead to burnout and other negative consequences. In this blog post, we'll explore the causes of productivity guilt and provide practical tips on how to overcome it and achieve a healthier work-life balance.

Causes of Productivity Guilt:

Several factors contribute to productivity guilt, including:

  • Social and cultural pressure: Society and culture often place a high value on productivity, success, and accomplishment. The idea that one should always be working hard and making progress can be deeply ingrained in people's minds, leading them to feel guilty when they are not actively engaged in productive activities.
  • Unrealistic expectations of yourself: Individuals may have set unrealistic or overly ambitious expectations for themselves, leading them to feel guilty when they are unable to meet those expectations. These expectations may be related to their work, personal life, or both.
  • Comparison with others: People often compare themselves to others and feel guilty when they perceive themselves as less productive or successful than their peers. Social media can exacerbate this feeling, as people often showcase their accomplishments and successes online.
  • Perfectionism: Perfectionism can also contribute to productivity guilt. When individuals have an all-or-nothing approach to their work, they may feel guilty when they are not working at their best or achieving their goals.
  • Fear of failure: Fear of failure can also lead to productivity guilt. When individuals feel that their productivity levels are not meeting expectations, they may feel like they are not living up to their potential, which can lead to feelings of shame and disappointment.
  • Pressure to meet deadlines and deliverables: In today's society we are often given tight deadlines and high expectations for delivering projects or tasks. This can create a sense of urgency and pressure to constantly be working, leading to feelings of guilt and inadequacy when taking breaks or not meeting deadlines. The pressure to perform can also lead to anxiety and stress, which can further decrease productivity and lead to burnout.
  • Overwhelm with tasks and responsibilities: People often have a long list of tasks to accomplish, including work-related tasks, personal responsibilities, and other commitments. This can be particularly overwhelming when there are multiple priorities and competing demands on a person's time and energy. When individuals feel like they are unable to complete everything they need to do, they may feel guilty for not being productive enough or not managing their time effectively.

These factors can lead to a constant feeling of being behind or not doing enough, even when we are working hard. Over time, productivity guilt can harm our mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and burnout.

Tips to Overcome Productivity Guilt:

Here are some practical tips to help you overcome productivity guilt and achieve a healthier work-life balance:

  1. Set Realistic Goals: One of the main reasons for productivity guilt is setting unrealistic goals. Instead of trying to do everything at once, break down your tasks into smaller, achievable goals. This approach will help you feel a sense of progress and accomplishment, leading to increased motivation and productivity.
  2. Prioritise Your Tasks: Prioritise your tasks based on their urgency and importance. This approach will help you focus on the most critical tasks and prevent overwhelm. Try to complete the most challenging tasks first when you have the most energy and focus.
  3. Practice Self-Compassion: Instead of being hard on yourself, practice self-compassion. Recognise that everyone makes mistakes and has limitations. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to take breaks and rest when needed.
  4. Celebrate Small Wins: Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may be. Celebrating small wins will help you stay motivated and build momentum toward achieving your larger goals.
  5. Practice time management techniques: Prioritising tasks and breaking them into smaller, more manageable chunks can help to ease the overwhelm. Another great one is the Pomodoro Technique - 20 minute bursts of focused work then a short break. You can also communicate with your manager or colleagues to manage expectations and seek support or additional resources when needed.
  6. Find time for yourself: Additionally, taking breaks, practicing self-care, and finding healthy ways to manage stress and anxiety can help you avoid burnout and maintain your productivity levels.

Productivity guilt can be a significant obstacle to achieving a healthier work-life balance, or feeling like you are doing enough in other areas of your life. However, by recognising the causes and implementing the above tips, you can overcome productivity guilt and achieve your goals without sacrificing your mental and physical health.

Remember to be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time. With practice, you can develop a healthier and more sustainable approach to change and growth.

If you're unsure if coaching is right for you, check out my blog that will help you to discover what you are looking for.

I am an ICF Accredited Coach. The International Coaching Federation (ICF) is a non-profit organization that sets the standards for the coaching profession worldwide. To become accredited by the ICF, a coach must complete an ICF-approved coach training program, accumulate a certain number of coaching hours, and pass a coach knowledge assessment. The ICF accreditation process is rigorous and is designed to ensure that coaches meet the highest standards of coaching competency and ethics.

ICF accreditation is widely recognised as the gold standard for coaching professionals. It signifies that a coach has met the ICF's rigorous standards and has demonstrated a commitment to ongoing professional development and excellence in coaching. ICF-accredited coaches are considered to be among the most skilled and effective coaches in the industry, and many clients and organizations seek out ICF-accredited coaches for their coaching needs.

February 19, 2023No Comments

How to develop and maintain a strong sense of self-advocacy: Tips and Strategies

Learn how to develop and maintain a strong sense of self-advocacy with these tips and strategies. Discover how to speak up for yourself, set boundaries, and assert your needs with confidence.

As we navigate through life, it's important to have a strong sense of self-advocacy - the ability to speak up for ourselves, set boundaries, and assert our needs with confidence. However, many of us struggle with self-advocacy, either because we feel insecure about our abilities or fear the consequences of standing up for ourselves. The good news is that self-advocacy is a skill that can be developed and maintained with some practice. In this blog, we'll explore some tips and strategies for developing and maintaining a strong sense of self-advocacy.

Believe in Yourself:

The first step to developing a strong sense of self-advocacy is to believe in yourself and your abilities. Recognise your strengths, and focus on what you can do, rather than what you can't. This will help you feel more confident in yourself and your decisions, which is key to effective self-advocacy.

  1. Practice positive self-talk: Speak to yourself in a positive and supportive way. Instead of criticising yourself when things go wrong, focus on your achievements and what you do well. Encourage and motivate yourself with kind and empowering words.
  2. Set achievable goals: Set small, achievable goals for yourself and work towards them. When you accomplish them, celebrate your successes and use them to build your confidence. This will help you believe in your ability to achieve larger goals.
  3. Take care of yourself: Self-care is important for building self-confidence. Make time for activities that make you happy, exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet, get enough sleep, and surround yourself with positive people. When you take care of yourself, you feel better about yourself and your abilities.

Identify Your Needs and Values:

To effectively advocate for yourself, you need to know what you want and what you value. Spend time identifying your needs and values, and make sure they align with your goals and aspirations. When you know what you want, it becomes easier to speak up for yourself and assert your needs.

  1. Reflect on your priorities: Take some time to think about what is important to you. What are your top priorities in life? What makes you happy? What do you value most? Write them down and use them as a guide for making decisions and setting goals.
  2. Listen to your intuition: Pay attention to your gut instincts and emotions. If something doesn't feel right or if you feel strongly about a particular issue, it may be an indication that it goes against your values or needs. Trusting your intuition can help you make more informed and empowered decisions.
  3. Practice self-reflection: Regularly reflecting on your actions and experiences can help you identify patterns and areas of growth. Consider journaling, meditating, or talking with a trusted friend or therapist. By understanding your thought process, you can more easily identify your needs and values and develop strategies for advocating for yourself.

Set Boundaries:

Setting boundaries is an essential part of self-advocacy. It's important to establish clear boundaries with others to protect your well-being and to help you feel more confident in your interactions. Learn to say "no" when you need to, and communicate your boundaries clearly and respectfully.

  1. Identify your limits: Take some time to reflect on situations where you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed. Identify what specific actions or behaviors of others cross your personal boundaries. Understanding your limits will help you communicate them more clearly to others.
  2. Practice saying no: Saying "no" is a powerful tool for setting boundaries. Practice saying no in situations where you feel uncomfortable or when someone asks for something that goes against your needs or values. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but it will get easier with practice.
  3. Communicate assertively: When setting boundaries, it's important to communicate assertively, but respectfully. Use "I" statements to express how you feel and what you need. For example, "I feel uncomfortable when you do this" or "I need this to be different in order to feel respected." By communicating your boundaries assertively, you'll be more likely to have your needs respected by others.

Improve Your Communication Skills:

Effective communication is key to self-advocacy. Practice active listening, ask questions, and express your needs clearly and assertively. Avoid using language that undermines your confidence, such as apologising for your needs or using overly passive language.

  1. Practice active listening: When you're having a conversation with someone, give them your full attention. Listen actively to what they're saying, and ask clarifying questions if needed. This will help you better understand their perspective and communicate more effectively.
  2. Use assertive language: Use "I" statements to express your needs and feelings in a clear and assertive way. Avoid using language that is overly passive or that undermines your confidence, such as apologizing for your needs or using qualifying language like "I'm not sure, but..."
  3. Seek feedback: Ask a trusted friend or family member to provide you with feedback on your communication style. They can help you identify areas for improvement and give you tips on how to communicate more effectively. Practicing and receiving feedback can help you develop more confidence in your communication skills over time.

Seek Support:

Developing a strong sense of self-advocacy can be challenging, especially if you've struggled with it in the past. Seek support from friends, family, or a professional coach or therapist. Having a support system can help you stay accountable and motivated in your self-advocacy journey.

  1. Reach out to a friend: Talk to a trusted friend about your self-advocacy goals and ask them to support you. They can provide encouragement and help keep you accountable to your goals.
  2. Find a community: Join a support group or online community of people who are also working on developing their self-advocacy skills. This can provide a sense of belonging and support, as well as practical tips and advice.
  3. Consider professional support: If you're struggling to develop self-advocacy skills, consider seeking support from a professional coach or therapist. They can provide you with tools and strategies to help you advocate for yourself more effectively and support you in your journey towards greater self-confidence and self-advocacy.

Practice, Practice, Practice:

Finally, developing and maintaining a strong sense of self-advocacy requires practice. Start small, and gradually build up your confidence and assertiveness over time. Remember that setbacks and mistakes are part of the learning process, and use them as opportunities for growth and personal development.

  1. Start with small steps: Set small goals for yourself, such as speaking up in a meeting or saying no to a request that goes against your values. Celebrate each success and use it as motivation to take on bigger challenges.
  2. Role-play with a friend: Practice advocating for yourself in a safe and supportive environment by role-playing different scenarios with a friend. This can help you build confidence and develop effective communication skills.
  3. Reflect on your experiences: Regularly reflect on your experiences and think about what went well and what you could have done differently. Use this information to adjust your approach and continuously improve your self-advocacy skills. Remember that practice takes time and effort, but the more you practice, the more confident and effective you'll become.

Commitment:

Developing and maintaining a strong sense of self-advocacy requires time, effort, and commitment, it is not a one-time achievement, but an ongoing process that requires ongoing attention and effort. By believing in yourself, identifying your needs and values, setting boundaries, improving your communication skills, seeking support, and practicing regularly, you can develop and maintain a strong sense of self-advocacy that will serve you well in all aspects of your life.

  1. Set reminders: Set reminders or alerts on your phone or calendar to check in on your progress and keep yourself accountable. This will help you stay on track and motivated.
  2. Use positive self-talk: Use positive self-talk to reinforce your commitment to your goals. Remind yourself of your strengths and the progress you've already made. Focus on the positive changes you're making in your life.
  3. Celebrate your successes: Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Recognize your achievements and take time to feel proud of yourself. This will help you stay motivated and committed to your self-advocacy journey.

I hope these tips and tricks are useful to you, and that you find some ways to make small meaningful changes in your daily life - remember, it's a marathon and not a sprint, so start with a couple of small ones and get used to those first before introducing each new thing! Overwhelm is one of the biggest blockers to being able to stick to new habits, so tiny incremental changes are key!

Good luck!

If you're unsure if coaching is right for you, check out my blog which will help you to discover what you are looking for.

I am an ICF Accredited Coach. The International Coaching Federation (ICF) is a non-profit organization that sets the standards for the coaching profession worldwide. To become accredited by the ICF, a coach must complete an ICF-approved coach training program, accumulate a certain number of coaching hours, and pass a coach knowledge assessment. The ICF accreditation process is rigorous and is designed to ensure that coaches meet the highest standards of coaching competency and ethics.

ICF accreditation is widely recognised as the gold standard for coaching professionals. It signifies that a coach has met the ICF's rigorous standards and has demonstrated a commitment to ongoing professional development and excellence in coaching. ICF-accredited coaches are considered to be among the most skilled and effective coaches in the industry, and many clients and organizations seek out ICF-accredited coaches for their coaching needs.

February 19, 2023No Comments

The Benefits of Coaching: How a Coach Can Help You Achieve Your Goals

Discover the top benefits of coaching and how working with a coach can help you achieve your goals. From increased self-awareness to improved communication skills, coaching has a lot to offer.

Read more

November 17, 20214 Comments

Is Coaching Right For you?

First up, what the hell is coaching?

Coaching:

  • Is a bespoke one to one programme specifically designed to accelerate the success of the individual engaging in the process. As it is bespoke intervention, each individuals’ experience will be entirely different
  • Can help you to define a powerful vision for yourself and give you the motivation to drive for it, setting better goals, reaching them faster, making better informed decisions, and improving the effectiveness of your overall performance and relationships either in your personal life or within the workplace
  • Is about the future, discovering your potential and achieving it – faster. Your Coach will support you and encourage you to deliver higher performance by getting you to FOCUS on what is fundamental and most importantly, take consistent ACTION towards achieving performance goals
  • Tools, knowledge and new skills are developed as a part of the programme so that you can implement these in your daily life for immediate and longer-term success.

How does Coaching differ to other popular interventions?

Unlike a consultant or mentor, a coach doesn't enforce changes – a coach gives their client the confidence to make their own changes and find their own solutions by accessing the qualities that are already inside them. Think it sounds a bit bullshit? I promise you it's not - you already have all the answers to your own questions and all the tools to solve any problems you're up against.

I totally understand why people are wary of coaching - it's a relatively unregulated industry and literally ANYONE can call themselves a coach these days, and charge a shit load for it. This is why I specifically wanted to qualify with the International Coaching Federation, as they have high standards and are bringing quality and ethical practice to the industry (even if you don't book with me, this is something you should look out for).

3 things Coaching is not


Coaching often gets confused with other interventions, namely:

  1. Training
  2. Consultancy
  3. Counselling/Therapy

Coaching is NOT:

  1. TRAINING
    Training provides off-the-shelf information on what you need to do or how you need
    to do something (skills development) and stops there
  2. CONSULTANCY
    Consultancy brings in expertise, normally for a specific project or to identify a specific
    problem and then ideally goes in to fix it. At the end of this process the consultant
    leaves. Any accumulated knowledge or insights go with them.
  3. COUNSELLING/THERAPY
    Counselling looks back in time to address specific personal problems by providing an
    opportunity to lend voice to and explore concerns and issues

Additional Benefits of Coaching
.

Aside from encouraging your performance, one of the many roles your Coach can play is that of sounding board and confidant. As someone who genuinely cares about your development and helping you to resolve any issues you face, the value of having someone ‘in your corner’ shouldn’t be overlooked. It may not be their main function, but it can be an invaluable one.

Coaching is often the favoured route of Business and Senior Managers because it is considerably more time efficient and effective than any other intervention. It is individually tailored to your needs and entirely outcome focused.

Coaching vs. Mentoring

Mentoring and coaching do have similarities and the two can get confused. They
differ in the following ways:

Mentoring:

‱ The mentor is the expert in a certain area and is willing to share their knowledge, experience and expertise.

‱ The Mentor gives the mentee advice and guidance on a specific area

‱ It takes a less formal format to coaching

Coaching:

‱ The coach may not be the expert in the area of focus

‱ The coach uses questioning techniques to develop the coachee

‱ It takes a more formal format

The 10 Key differences between a Mentor and a Coach

A mentor will:A coach will:
Need to know the details of the mentees activitiesListen intuitively and ask questions without any need to know details
Participate in problem solvingAsk questions that help the coachee to solve their problem
Jointly develop solutions and ideasStimulate the coachee to think more creatively and expansively
Provides insights into ways to move
forward
Ask permission to share models or experiences that might be useful and
suggest the coachee reviews them
Input ideas and suggestionsUse skilled questioning techniques to stimulate the coachee to generate new ideas
Share expertise and experienceRemain focused on the coachee's outcomes and only offer models or
experiences for review if appropriate
Point to information or signpost sources of possible helpUse questions to help the coachee find appropriate resources and sources of help
Have an opinion and be ready to share itNever offer opinions or advice as their role is to facilitate the coachee finding and taking ownership of their own solutions
Readily answer questionsAsk questions skilfully and effectively rather than answer them
Share in the success of the menteeSeek only to facilitate the coachee's success

So - hopefully that's cleared it up a little for you, but if you still have any further questions, you can drop me a line at hello@fiercefolks.com and I'll be happy to answer them for you.

If you feel ready to book for your free, no-obligation chemistry call, then head over to my booking page now: fiercefolks.com/book

September 12, 20211 Comment

Zero fucks given
how to stop caring and live your awesome life.

“I’m pretending I don’t give a fuck by saying “I don’t give a fuck”, and by putting that out there, I’m making a conscious decision to not give a fuck, but in doing so, I’m giving a fuck about not giving a fuck. Which means you give a fuck.” – Joe Rogan

Sound vaguely familiar? Rogan is absolutely right: If someone makes a real point of saying they don’t give a fuck, it’s almost certain that they actually do, in fact, give a lot of fucks. It’s impossible not to give a fuck about anything, nor is that desirable behaviour–imagine if you didn’t give a fuck about your job or your family? You probably wouldn’t keep either of them for very long...

What does a person who’s living a “zero fucks given” life look like, exactly?

In my mind, this person lives unapologetically. They aren’t afraid to be themselves or upsetting others with their opinions. They don’t water themselves down or make themselves smaller. Instead, they do the opposite: take up space, live loud and proud, have clear boundaries, and radiate inner confidence. Maybe someone automatically comes to mind when you read this, or perhaps you have a different definition of what this means to you, and that’s cool too. In fact, I invite you to tell me off and give me your own definition of what it means to give zero fucks. This is, after all, zerofoxpeople

Why we give too much of a fuck:

 One of the primary reasons people give too many fucks is because they are seeking the approval of others. Fuck them. You are not inferior to (or above) anyone else. You are enough. And it is not your job to please someone else or make them happy. Many of us give too many fucks about the things that aren’t important, the things that don’t matter, or things we simply cannot change. What we should actually be doing is prioritising our fucks, saving them for only the things that matter. But what are those things, exactly?

I’ve created a “priority of fucks” list, which are a few things that I feel are worth giving some fucks about (in no particular order of importance–that’s for you to decide):

Your career and/or business and why you should care:

The average person will spend 90,000 hours working, or about one-third of their lives. That’s a fuck ton of time, which is why it’s probably important to enjoy it. I’m not saying that you must love your job–let’s be real. Most people wouldn’t say that or if they have said that, they are likely in the minority. BUT, I strongly believe in the importance of finding some kind of satisfaction in your day-to-day work. My key takeaway? Find something that you enjoy doing and that you can sustainably find new aspects of to enjoy and explore deeper as time goes on. Mine would be photography, illustration, and soon, coaching. 

Why your time matters and why you should give a fuck about it:

So you spend one-third of your life working, but what about the other 66% of the time? How do you enrich your life? What hobbies do you take on? Who and what do you interact with on a daily basis? What could you be doing more or less of? Pay attention to what you’re doing throughout your days and do a little Marie-Kondoing of your life. Ask yourself, “Does this bring me joy?” If not, fuck it! Just don’t do it! It’s not worth your time–trust me. Once you start spending the time on things you actually want to spend time on, not because you feel obligated to do so, you’ll be well on your way to living with a zero fucks mindset in no time. 

Getting to know your finances and giving a fuck about your money:

I wish money didn’t matter so much, but let’s be real–it does in our capitalistic societies. Money can be a huge block for some people, myself included. It feels gross to talk about, difficult to deal with, and uncomfortable both when you have too much or too little of it. There is, however, that happy medium where you’re not afraid to look at your current balance at the end of the month, but empowered by it. Getting to know your finances and your hangups with money can be very confronting, but it’s super important. What helps me the most is to think of it more as energy than a commodity. Maybe that sounds woo-woo, but I don’t really give a fuck 😉 Understanding your finances first can help you move past whatever bothers you most about handling money. Once you know where you’re winning or losing funds, you can start to make a game plan for how to control and even grow them. 

Why you should definitely start caring about your health and why giving a fuck matters:

I know I’m really leaning into this one-third life statistic, but one of the other thirds of your life is spent sleeping. You know when you get a really good night’s sleep and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on whatever life throws at you that day? It’s no coincidence that sleep is good for your health, but that’s only part of the feeling-good equation. Eating well, moving throughout the day, having positive social interactions with others, and other habits all contribute to good physical, mental, and emotional health. All are super important when it comes to feeling good, inside and out.

Nina lays back on a couch, pregnant belly exposed and looking glamorous as fuck

Why being lazy doesn’t mean not giving a fuck about your goals and goal-setting:

I don’t know about you, but I’m lazy as fuck. Seriously. I wouldn’t get anything done if I didn’t set goals for myself. It kind of goes in line with caring about what you do with your time; just by figuring out what it is that I wanted to do in the long term helped make everything else easier. For me, it’s doing what I enjoy the most, which I mentioned before is photography, illustration, and having more time to explore different creative endeavors. I knew I wanted more time to pursue these things, but a few years ago, that wasn’t exactly how my life was playing out (but that’s a story for another time). I worked backward from my goal and started to rearrange my life in a way that would allow me to eventually do exactly what I wanted by saying “no” to working full-time and only taking on part-time and freelance work to make space for my goal. To be clear, I’m not saying drop everything now and pursue your life dream of becoming a botanist (my backup plan), but breaking down what you want into smaller steps and figuring out where to cut the fat is crucial. Also, your goals might shift over time, and that’s totally understandable and normal as well.

Giving a fuck about friends and family and the best advice that I’ve ever received

My family members are the people in my life who I truly give a fuck about. I know that I speak from a place of privilege when I write that because not everyone is as fortunate. That’s why it’s equally important, in my unprofessional opinion, to truly give a fuck about your friendships. The close friends in my life are basically family members, anyway. The older I get, the less I care about keeping people in my life that I just don’t give a fuck about. Honestly, life is way too short to be around people you don’t get the warm fuzzies from. If you feel “meh” about anyone in your life, you don’t need to keep them around just because you’ve known them since those awkward pre-teen years. Your friends are your chosen family! So choose wisely.

How to care for your partner while still caring about yourself

I really lucked out on having a truly amazing partner. After a few years together, we’ve really been able to grow and support one another, and it’s meant the world to me to have such a solid human in my life. That’s not to say that we don’t get tired, bored, or annoyed by one another, ever. Quite the opposite, actually. After going through some shitty relationships, I started to see that I hadn’t prioritised myself as much as I would’ve hoped. Going into my current relationship, I wanted to be sure that my needs as well as theirs were met. It takes practice, compromise, and a lot of open communication and honesty, but at the end of the day, it’s what truly allows us to continue to give a fuck about one another.

Making your home into a place that you love, can thrive in, and truly give a fuck about

So here’s the part where you’ll learn about my obsession with houseplants. I can’t tell you how many plants I accumulated in 2020 to the point where my apartment started looking more like a greenhouse than a home for humans. Plants make me happy, and seeing them every day has made my home and ability to get shit done so much fucking better! Even though some of us will return to commuting to work instead of working from their couches, creating a space that you love with a few tweaks here and there can really do so much for your overall mood. If it’s not plants for you, then maybe it’s photos or drawings of your dog, adding pops of your favourite colour around your space, or using mugs that speak to your unique quirkiness.

Stop giving a fuck about other people’s opinions of you

beautiful girl with pale skin and bright green hair, bright pink eyeshadow smiling into the cmera

Imagine your fucks are made up of time, energy, and money–you have a finite supply of each of these, so you need to choose how and when to spend them. Imagine if you then added a load of other things like ‘what they’ll think of me’ or ‘how many likes this Instagram post gets’ pretty soon you’ll have a list as long as your arm and all of a sudden those fucks are stretched out pretty thin. 

It’s also not about becoming totally indifferent–think of it more as becoming ‘ok with difference’. Set some clear boundaries and to take a step back to assess a situation before you react. If a situation is not on your ‘priority of fucks list’, then you should take a deep breath and let that fuck go. If a situation is something you actually cannot control (the weather, someone else’s mood), let that fuck go. Accept the things you can’t change and change the things you can.

Something else to remember is that everyone will give a fuck about different things and you may not always agree on what those things should be. Communication is key, especially if the person you are disagreeing with is also someone you happen to give a fuck about–make sure that you can both understand WHY you each give or don’t give a fuck. 

And, if you’re still struggling to decide if something is worthy of giving a fuck, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Will this thing matter one year from now? 
  2. Why do you give a fuck? Because it is genuinely important or because you’ve been conditioned to give a fuck?
  3. Is there something else more important happening simultaneously that you should prioritise?
  4. By not giving a fuck, am I hurting someone I do give a fuck about because they give a fuck?

One last fucking quote:

“In life, our fucks must be spent on something. There really is no such thing as not giving a fuck. The question is simply how we each choose to allot our fucks. You only get a limited number of fucks to give over your lifetime, so you must spend them with care. As my father used to say, “Fucks don’t grow on trees, Mark.” OK, he never actually said that. But fuck it, pretend like he did. The point is that fucks have to be earned and then invested wisely.” – Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

I’d love to know: what’s on your “priority of fucks” list? What have you managed to stop giving a fuck about?

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